I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
