Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
