i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
