i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
