thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
