if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize