I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
