three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Two words: blizzard sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
God, I missed his penis.
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