that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize