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This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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