STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
