do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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