you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
