Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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