Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
