Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
