Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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