If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
