You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
