So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
