im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
