i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
