why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
