He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
