are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
