Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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