He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
