Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
