If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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