I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
