everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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