That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
