if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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