I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
