I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
