Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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