I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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