Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
