I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
