I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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