I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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