And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize