it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
