Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
