if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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