May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
