Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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