escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
