You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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