well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
its liver damage thursday
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
