i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just google imaged poop.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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