ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
