can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
