your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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