We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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