Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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