You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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