Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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