i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
