His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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