There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
