When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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