There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
