I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
