this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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