Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
