Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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