Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think people are normalizing furries
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
