And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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