I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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