I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
