Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
