is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize