He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
